I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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