dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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