It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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