so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize