I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
