please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
only you would photoshop your dick
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
