I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
