he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
You can't special order awesome
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
