all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Randomize
