I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
