God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
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