You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
