i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Randomize
