So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize