Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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