You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
