Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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