who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
