This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
