Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
