whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
