i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
