The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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