No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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