At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
