And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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