i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
