I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
