You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
