It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
You've changed since you got that strap on
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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