I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
