the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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