Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Of course I have a pirate flag
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize
