He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
