youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Randomize
