People in love make me want to vomit
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
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