We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize