We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
