i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
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