All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
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