I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize
