Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
