let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
