he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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