You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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