White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
