YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
