with your own penis?
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
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