Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
She tied me up with her honor cords...
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
