moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
