The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
