just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
