I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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