I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
