he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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