ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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