I hate all girls vehemently.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Randomize
