Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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