i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
