Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
