1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
