i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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