Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
