We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
