worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
You pole danced in your parka.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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