After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
