don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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